Intimacy Tips for Your Most Important Relationship (You!)
It can be easy to lose ourselves in the Valentine’s celebrations of romantic, sexual, and even Galetine relationships. While it can be exciting to plan date nights and time with friends, are you planning enough alone time with just yourself?
Whether you’ve got a special somebody, multiple somebodies, or are flying solo, building intimacy with yourself can be just what the soul ordered. Check out the quick tips below for some ideas :)
Being in the moment
Despite the ever moving maze and to-do list that is my mind, I really enjoy pausing to appreciate the many beautiful and sensory moments that make up my day. This might include stopping to listen to the lone violinist practicing their art solo, in the rain, without an audience in sight. Or it may look like me marveling at the colors nature produces in the autumn and not wanting to miss it because the next day’s palette may be completely different. It could even include noticing how my hair curls on a specific day and playing with the smooth hoops that wrap my finger in browns and gold.
Whatever it may be that creates opportunities to just breathe and admire, take it.
Do you like the smell of rosemary? (I do!) Take a bath with essential oils and light some candles for a warm and aesthetic setting.
Love the feel of your skin when it’s soft? Love on it with lotion and rub yourself all up, taking in the curves and ridges of your own body.
Basically, notice and make time for what brings you joy or peace and savor it. Knowing your own positive triggers is useful when life doesn’t feel too sunny and you need reminders of what you love.
Getting to know yourself
It can feel scary to be left alone with our own minds or to be in tune with our own bodies. Especially if we get lost in being part of a we and in being in tune with the minds and bodies of others. What are some ways to getting back to you?
Ever seen those lists of questions to ask on a date to fall in love? Ask yourself those questions. Consider how you would answer them and see what you can discover about yourself when on your own.
Journal - you can choose to respond to journal prompts or to free write in the morning/evening and see what comes pouring out of you.
Get undressed and stand in front of a mirror. What do you see? When was the last time you really looked? Follow the lines and curves of your body. Try tracing your body in the mirror or even grab a sheet of paper and see what you can create!
Loving on you
Folks often say treat others how you want to be treated but the problem is that we are often nicer to others than we are to ourselves. What are ways to treat ourselves better?
Celebrate yourself. Take the time to recognize what you do and unashamedly acknowledge it. If this is difficult, consider writing down the things you complete, the positive interactions you have, and the obstacles you face. Then daily remind yourself that you did or experienced those things and that you’re a badass for it!
Listen to your body. Whether it is telling you to slow down, move around, or nourish it. Take the time to understand its messages and address its/your needs.
Touch yourself. Your body is a beautiful landscape that is worthy of tender and excited touch. Massage, explore, and arouse yourself regularly as a reminder of what kinds of touch you enjoy.
There is so much you can do with you - don’t feel limited by this list. Just remember that whatever you are doing, that you deserve the love and attention you show to others, too!
