Q&A: When to Leave a Relationship?

Q: When to leave a relationship?

Mainstream media teaches us that love can conquer all and that breakups are a form of failure. That’s fake news, ya’ll. Love isn’t always enough and it definitely doesn’t need to be everlasting to be significant and meaningful. Knowing when it is time to leave a relationship is an important part of maintaining healthy relations with ourselves and others.

Check out the following for how to know when to leave your partner:

When you bring out the worst in one another instead of the best.

It can be easy to get frustrated/annoyed with people you spend a lot of time with and/or live with because you are likely to know how to push each other’s buttons but ideally, you also don’t want to feel inspired to be your worst self. If you spend a lot of time reacting in, or inspiring, anger or sadness, feeling offended/offending, or intentionally harming one another - that’s not good.

When you are staying because of what you had and not because of what you have.

At some point, you may have had a really great relationship full of love and connection - which is beautiful and worthy of celebration. However, your past does not determine your future -- people and circumstances change. If you are in a relationship because of what you once had together but your current circumstances are poor and the future is bleak, it’s time to re-evaluate and see if you are better off going your separate ways (yes, even if it’s been decades because there is no expiration on being happy).

When the idea of breaking up brings a sense of relief.

Healthy relationships take maintenance but they shouldn’t take so much that the idea of breaking up offers relief. If this is happening, your mind may be communicating that it’s time to go.

Other signs that a breakup would be a healthy decision.

• Signs of abuse or lots of toxicity

• You don’t enjoy one another/no longer like one another (even if love is present)

• At least one person is unhappy (it takes at least two to tango)

• You don’t feel respected/aren’t respecting your partner.

P.S. These are true for romantic and platonic relationships. Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime and that’s OK. 

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