I wish I was one of those people who could orgasm in five minutes and every five minutes. But that’s just not me (it might not be you either) and that’s OK.

It’s not uncommon for people with penises to feel (or have their partners feel) they orgasm too quickly and for people with vulvas to feel they are taking too long. The opposite can also be true – people with penises can have partners who feel raw (or whose partners get lockjaw) because of how long their partners last and people with vulvas can feel embarrassed by their body’s quick ecstasy. Whatever your orgasm speed, there are multiple ways to have a satisfying sex life.

For many, sex is defined as vaginal-penile intercourse, or penetration of vagina/anus by fingers, penises, and toys, which, while fun, is also dreadfully limiting — for everyone. Thankfully for you, this article offers ways to think about sex that go beyond sexual poking and open us up to experience pleasure all across our bodies.