if you’re concerned about how much (or how little) you masturbate, how you masturbate, or your level of enjoyment of solo sex, here are some mantras you can adopt.

As adults, it’s not unusual to see our reflections (if we even dare to look at a mirror) and name things we don’t like (anyone else remember that mirror scene from Mean Girls?). We live with so many expectations of what beauty is, while also dealing with the stress of a busy day-to-day schedule. It’s a challenge to commit to a healthy lifestyle, but even when we do, looking at ourselves in the mirror can ruin our day.

The thing is, we aren’t born with that critical voice in our heads – we’re just letting it live up there, rent free.

What counts as “dirty talk” can vary widely from naughty whispers to sexy demands and more, but did you know that it can help you increase sexual pleasure and that it doesn’t have to be as awkward as it seems on TV?

I wish I was one of those people who could orgasm in five minutes and every five minutes. But that’s just not me (it might not be you either) and that’s OK.

It’s not uncommon for people with penises to feel (or have their partners feel) they orgasm too quickly and for people with vulvas to feel they are taking too long. The opposite can also be true – people with penises can have partners who feel raw (or whose partners get lockjaw) because of how long their partners last and people with vulvas can feel embarrassed by their body’s quick ecstasy. Whatever your orgasm speed, there are multiple ways to have a satisfying sex life.

July is Disability Pride Month, but we should always promote pride and awareness of people with disabilities. I’m sharing some tips to address three specific accessibility needs within sexual interactions. We all deserve to feel comfortable, safe, and confident when getting it on!

Whether a long time or new friend, our relationships deserve nurturing. As my father used to sing, “make new friends and keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold.” Try some of the following ideas to honor your silver and gold buddies on Friendship Day!

After hearing Sam and Maya talk about their oh so cute date ideas on their podcast, Latinas_en_Queerantine (LEQ), I had to get in touch and learn more. It quickly became clear that the quality of dates are not dependent on where they are, but rather the intentionality and care put into the ideas.

During the height of my couch-surfing days, there was a night where I accepted too many surfers for our space and I ended up sharing my bed with my housemate to make up for the extra people in our apartment. Given that there were three extra men in the apartment, two of whom were complete strangers, it didn’t seem like the worst idea to have someone I trusted sharing my room.

Whether you experience trouble orgasming, never had a partnered orgasm, or never orgasmed at all, this article is meant to help you find routes to your pleasure! You may be surprised, but most of what you’ll want to do rests in self-reflection and general self-work before it gets physical. That’s because what often keeps us from pleasure is what’s between our ears rather than what’s between our legs.

Sometimes you’re tired and just want sex to end or you don’t want to make your partner feel insecure about not helping you climax. Maybe your lover has pleasured your body for 45 minutes and even though it feels great, your orgasm remains beyond the horizon and it embarrasses you or causes guilt. If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone.

When you’ve realized your pleasure is worth the time and care, take it up a notch. Don’t speed through the end once you’re excited. Elongate the pleasure and anticipation through teasing and different sensory play. For specific examples with descriptions, check out 7 Steps to Next Level Physical Intimacy. Remember, it’s not a sprint. Good things take time and you’re totally worth it.