As adults, it’s not unusual to see our reflections (if we even dare to look at a mirror) and name things we don’t like (anyone else remember that mirror scene from Mean Girls?). We live with so many expectations of what beauty is, while also dealing with the stress of a busy day-to-day schedule. It’s a challenge to commit to a healthy lifestyle, but even when we do, looking at ourselves in the mirror can ruin our day.

The thing is, we aren’t born with that critical voice in our heads – we’re just letting it live up there, rent free.

Knowing more about yourself can help you find more compatible relationships and more pleasurable sex. “How?” You ask. Whether you’re brand new in the dating world or a seasoned pro, it’s easy to make mistake after mistake if we don’t pause, pay attention, and make intentional decisions. Going with the flow can be fun for a while, but if it leads you down a repeatedly doomed relationship path, it might be time to leave trial and error behind. If you’re unconvinced, check out below for some clarity.