As adults, it’s not unusual to see our reflections (if we even dare to look at a mirror) and name things we don’t like (anyone else remember that mirror scene from Mean Girls?). We live with so many expectations of what beauty is, while also dealing with the stress of a busy day-to-day schedule. It’s a challenge to commit to a healthy lifestyle, but even when we do, looking at ourselves in the mirror can ruin our day.

The thing is, we aren’t born with that critical voice in our heads – we’re just letting it live up there, rent free.

I wish I was one of those people who could orgasm in five minutes and every five minutes. But that’s just not me (it might not be you either) and that’s OK.

It’s not uncommon for people with penises to feel (or have their partners feel) they orgasm too quickly and for people with vulvas to feel they are taking too long. The opposite can also be true – people with penises can have partners who feel raw (or whose partners get lockjaw) because of how long their partners last and people with vulvas can feel embarrassed by their body’s quick ecstasy. Whatever your orgasm speed, there are multiple ways to have a satisfying sex life.

If someone with a vagina spreads their legs, you’ll see their vulva. Some people also call this area the vagina, but the vagina is the canal that exists inside the body. As readers, you get to call your body parts whatever feels right for you, but for the article, I’ll use vulva so we’re all on the same page.