Everything Straight People Don't Realize About Gay Sex
Probably the biggest misconception is that there is such a thing as gay sex - or straight sex. You’re gay if you’re gay and the sex positions you choose to enjoy don’t determine your sexual orientation. Sex is just…sex - it’s gender neutral. We are only limited by our imaginations and the labels we assign to different acts.
But, you’re here for a reason so check out the below for examples of sex positions, roles, and what that can look like with different body and gender pairings.
Amazing Gay Sex Positions
(that can be enjoyed by anyone)
Oral Sex v. Anal Sex
Even though lots of people immediately think of anal sex when thinking about cisgender (cis men are men who were born with a penis) gay men, oral sex may be the more popular sexual act. A 2011 study on gay and bisexual men by Rosenberger, Reece, Schick, Herbenick, Novak, Van Der Pol, & Fortenberry found that 72.7% of the men they surveyed engaged in oral sex at last sexual event in comparison to only 37.2% who engaged in anal intercourse.
Anal sex can feel less spontaneous for several reasons. For one, anal sex requires that you have lubrication handy. Spit doesn’t count. Anuses don’t self lubricate so you want high quality and long lasting lube. Second, prep for backdoor sex varies. Since poop comes through the rectum, it’s a good idea to make sure you’ve cleaned up the anus and immediate entrance as well as stayed away from any foods that’ll give you the runs or gas. Some people also choose to perform enemas/anal douching to clean out the area which can take a bit longer. Lastly, it can require more arousal, relaxation, and mental preparation to prepare that area for safe and easy penetration so other forms of sex, like oral sex and hand jobs, may be preferred.
Penetration
Penetrative sex comes in all sorts of positions - here are three examples and the mechanics involved.
Missionary
Missionary, where two people face one another and the person on top penetrates the person below them, can feel romantic and connected. Lots of opportunity to stare into each other’s eyes and watch one another’s facial expressions.
Doggy Style
Traditionally, this is thought of as one person being penetrated while on all fours by someone behind them. But don’t be limited to that angle! This position can work with the receiver anywhere from flat back, like a yoga neutral table top, to flattened torso with butt sticking up (think yoga position child’s pose) all the way through to laying completely flat or flat with a pillow propping up the pelvic area.
Riding
One person lays down flat on their back while the person on top penetrates themselves with the laying down person’s penis, strap-on, etc. Person on top can face their partner’s face or ride backwards giving an excellent view of their ass.
Mechanics
Someone with a penis can penetrate someone else’s anus or vagina.
Someone wearing a strap-on can penetrate someone else’s anus or vagina.
Someone with a hand can penetrate someone else’s anus or vagina.
Someone with an anus or vagina, can be penetrated.
What’s Required
Something to penetrate (anus or vagina - mouths, too depending on the position)
Something to penetrate with (penis, dildo or other toy, hand)
Roles
Despite assumptions that there is supposed to be one masculine and one feminine partner, gay people don’t need to live by straight people standards (and neither do straight couples). There can be two masculine individuals, two feminine, two non-binary or any other mix (including adding additional partners) regardless of gender identities.
Tops/Bottoms
You may have heard the terms top and bottom before. These often refer to who is giving/receiving penetrative sex within gay male couples but are also used by other pairings to refer to who is generally more likely to take the giving versus receiving roles and/or take charge of the sexual encounter. These are helpful terms when seeking out sexually compatible partners because it indicates who is interested in doing what sexually (also useful for straight people!). Individuals may also identify as switches or versatile if they like to mix it up. While many dominants are tops and many submissives are bottoms, this is far from a rule so it’s best not to make assumptions.
Morale of the Story
There are no sex acts limited to gay men, lesbians, straight people, or anyone else. Sex acts can’t be gay, people can be. This means you can be a straight cis man who enjoys being penetrated up the butt by a female partner or a gay man (cis or trans) who doesn’t enjoy penetration at all.
Got questions about how specific sex acts work? Let us know!
