Edging - What Is It and How To Do It

Edging is a masturbation technique for intentionally stopping, or reducing, stimulation right before reaching the point of no return, with the goal of delaying orgasm. If you are a fan of teasing or of experiencing the sensation of desperately wanting something and it being tantalizingly just beyond reach, edging might be for you. And you'll probably mind blown when you reach orgasm.

Edging, also known as peaking or surfing (and sometimes orgasm control), can be practiced solo and/or with a partner. It requires an awareness of your signs of arousal, or that of a partner, to perform successfully and can promote mindfulness and body awareness. The use of this technique can truly add spice to your sex life. Please note that edging is different from “edge play,” which is a BDSM term for testing one’s limits and boundaries.

Check out the rest of the article for what all the fuss is about and for ways to get in on the action!

Why Do It?

Stopping stimulation and preventing or delaying orgasm might seem counterintuitive to a good time but there are several reasons why someone might want to try edging.

It Increases The Quality Of Your Orgasms

For one, it can increase your arousal and improve the quality of your climaxes, providing you with some intense orgasms. By pausing at the right moments or during foreplay, you can build up arousal so that it becomes more intense during each wave of stimulation making your body beg for more. As arousal builds, anxiety decreases, and your sensitivity increases, it can also increase the length and intensity of your orgasm. Once you finally choose to climax and include multiple waves or delicious aftershocks.

Extending Sexual Pleasure

In addition to stronger and longer orgasms, a second benefit is that edging techniques can extend sexy time itself. Males struggle to last as long as they or their partners would like during penetrative sex. Therefore, edging can be used to pause stimulation long enough that the desire to orgasm abates, thereby keeping penis-based sex acts in play and avoiding waiting out a refractory period.

The Mental Boost

A third benefit is a mental boost that orgasm control can play. While edging can be performed on your own (and with a partner) for the physical benefits of extended arousal, partnered edging can be a whole different game when the power to orgasm rests in someone else’s hands (or tongue, or - well, you get the picture). As practitioners of sexual teasing know, the promise of what you seek can sometimes be as much fun, if not more fun, than the actual outcome. It becomes delicious torture of not knowing when orgasm will be granted.

This is possible when partners are in tune with one another’s arousal signs that they can pause right before the moment of no return. Within the kink and BDSM world, there is also a more intense version of edging called orgasm denial where orgasm is delayed for a longer period of time, for example, over days, before release is granted.

Whichever way you practice, the sexual tension builds for more pleasurable outcomes.

Know The Signs

Practicing edging can sometimes feel like a delicate science. If you pause a moment too late and stop stimulation when your body has moved from plateau (aka very aroused) to orgasmic, you can lose the orgasm or have a very weak orgasm. As you can imagine, this can be hella frustrating.

That’s why it is so important to learn what your, and/or your partners’ body does right before it climbs over the edge into orgasmic bliss and to distinguish between close and already there. This might require some testing at which point in your body’s orgasm prep you can stop without losing your orgasm. Signs include tenseness of muscles, your unique breath patterns, skin color shifts, and more.

Prepping to the edge can be a fun self and partner exploration activity in awareness and observation!

Edging Techniques

Omgyes, in collaboration with researchers at Indiana University at Bloomington, collected data from 2,000 cis women and found three major edging variations for their sample which included pausing and restarting, distracting, and continuous edging. Below I describe what these look like regardless of the genitals you are packing!

Pausing and Restarting

This first type takes the longest but has very happy customers. The idea is to get close to orgasm and then pause genital touch long enough (anywhere from seconds to hours) for all desire to orgasm to dissipate before starting again. This kind is most similar to orgasm denial because of the intentional cooling-off period. For people with penises, allowing an erection to become a bit flaccid can be a useful good indicator. For females, creating delay allows the clitoris to lose sensitivity. When the vagina goes through sexual stimulation and clitoral stimulation, a peak followed by a cool-off period, sexual pleasure can be increased tremendously.

Distracting

Distracting is about using an alternative, and potentially intense, sensation elsewhere on the body right before orgasm to prevent climax. This is partnered with a pausing or reducing of the type of genital stimulation you are using at the same time as the distraction.

Examples of distraction techniques can include a strong nipple squeeze, squeezing a butt cheek, a slap or spank against whatever body parts of yours enjoy that (butt, genitals, thighs, chest, face, etc.), using nails or somewhat sharp objects to run across the skin, and so on. Then once the distraction has worked enough to reduce the desire to orgasm, you can start regular stimulation again.

For those who struggle with premature ejaculation, the physical distraction may not be enough and it can therefore be helpful to not only physically distract and pause stimulation but also engage in unrelated thoughts to reduce your mind’s excitement.

Continuous Edging

This last technique is about subtle shifts. Rather than completely stopping stimulation or engaging in intense distractions, you simply shift stimulation to another part of the body that is less likely to bring you to orgasm such as labia, scrotal, or nipple play. The intention is to maintain pleasurable stimulation without allowing it to be pleasurable enough to climax.

This one is also recommended specifically for people who are more prone to losing orgasms completely because it maintains a high level of arousal throughout.

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