How to Pick a Lubricant for Sex

Lube is probably one of the most underrated ways to improve sex. If you are ready to give it the respect it deserves, keep reading this guide to learn why you should use it, what to use when/where, and what to keep in mind while exploring!

Why should you use Lube?

Lube’s main purpose is to increase comfort and PLEASURE in sexual activities. Some people assume it’s mainly meant for anal sex when really, it can be used during masturbation regardless of genitals as well as vaginal sex, oral sex, and, of course, anal sex. Even if you think you don’t need lube, it’s worth giving it a shot because you might realize that the type of wetness and glide power it offers is simply not the same as spit or vaginal lubrication.

For people engaging in penetrative anal sex, being lubed up is basically a non-negotiable. That area is prone to tearing and lubrication helps prevent that. It can also reduce friction and injury for vaginal sex, even if the person with the vagina self-lubricates, and for masturbating. If masturbating a vulva, adding a little lube to the clitoris and lips, or to hands or toys, can heighten stimulation, and for penises, especially if the penis is circumcised, lubrication will help reduce soreness and pain.

Types of Lube

There are four major categories of lube that we’ll cover:

1. Water-based

2. Silicone

3. Oils

4. Hybrids

Water based Lubricant (Best for Versatility)

Water-based lubricant has a lot going for it. For one, it doesn’t stain (which others can). And two, it can be used with silicone toys and condoms without harming them. 
Downsides include that it doesn’t last as long as other options and isn’t useful for shower sex because of how easily it washes off.

Silicone (Best for Shower Sex & Long Sessions)

Silicone is popular for how luxuriously smooth it feels and because it has long-lasting power. Unlike water-based lubricants, you are less likely to need to reapply when using silicone. It’s also hypoallergenic for those with sensitive skin.

Downsides include that it can stain your sheets and it can deteriorate your silicone toys which can turn high quality and body-safe toys into bacteria-vulnerable toys -- pass. Thankfully, other materials like glass and metal are not affected.

Oil (Best for Massages & Long Sessions)

You can find specifically marketed oil-based lubes but this section also includes all the stuff you can find in your home already (think olive oil, virgin coconut oil, avocado oil, etc.) for those DIYers. Oils can last a long time without reapplication and can be easy to find. These are also great for giving sensual and sexy massages to get everyone warmed up!

Downsides include the obvious potential for staining materials and the increased risk of yeast infections. If you are using latex condoms, oil and oil based lubes are a big no go because they disintegrate the latex leaving you at risk of whatever you are seeking to avoid by using condoms in the first place.

Hybrid (Best for Finding Something Just Right)

Hybrid lubes combine water and silicone at different levels to create a just-right option for you. Some are both hypoallergenic and non-staining while also being long-lasting (yay to combining the best features of water and silicone!).

The downside is that you need to read carefully to see which lubricant does what and it’s still probably not a good choice for silicone toys depending on the amount of silicone present.

Things to keep in mind

A good rule of thumb when it comes to lubricants is that if you can’t put it in your mouth, it shouldn’t go into your body. However, the reverse isn’t true - just because you can put it in your mouth, doesn’t mean it belongs in vaginas or anuses - especially if it contains any sugar.

Ingredients to be wary of:

Benzocaine has a numbing effect which can be dangerous if it keeps your body from registering pain. Pain is your body’s way of letting you know, ‘hey - stop whatever you’re doing, you’re going to injure me!’ which seems like something you’d want to know.

Glycerin, a sugar alcohol that is, unfortunately, a popular ingredient, can cause yeast infections for people with vulvas.

Nonoxynol-9 is an ingredient used in many spermicides and can lead to the potential for both irritation and infection.

Petrochemicals like petroleum, propylene glycol, and polyethylene glycol which are often used to create warming sensations that can instead burn.

Parabens (and other preservatives like benzyl alcohol & citric acid) which can lead to burning, itching, or overly sticky sensations.

Basically, when deciding where to buy lube, look at the quality of ingredients being used to make sure your body will be happy using it.